Goddamn It, I Knew It! I Fucking Knew It!!


COMIC LEGEND: Longshot gained his famous mullet because of the lead singer of the 1980s bang, Kajagoogoo.


I knew Longshot was Limahl from the first time I saw him back in the 80s! I have a ton of old high school friends who scoffed at my theory who I now must call and invite to eat my ass!





Blade Paved The Way For The Marvel Blockbusters Of The New Millennium


And yet New Line, after making a bunch of money with Friday, had seen commercial potential in a story about a black hero, and the screenwriter David S. Goyer, who’d gotten his start writing stuff like Death Warrant and Demonic Toys, and who would later become the architect of DC’s cinematic universe, had some ideas for the character. It’s a miracle that a Blade movie ever got made in the first place, and it’s even more of a miracle that it ended up being any good. But it was extremely fucking good. 

Good to see credit being given where credit is due.

And, yeah, Blade was extremely fucking good.


Who is the Biotronic Man?


The Biotronic Man was presumable a normal guy who at some point became infected by microscopic robots called Biotrons. In addition to repairing any damage done to Bio’s body, the Biotrons also augment his strength, speed and reflexes to super human levels. The Biotrons also make Bio immune to disease, illness and exhaustion. He does, however, still need to eat. The Biotrons convert and use every bit of what he consumes so he produces no waste.

Bio can also shoot hooks and cables from the back of his hands that are formedby Biotrons fast replicating themselves to the required length. Within these cables each individual Biotron can generate a minute electrical charge and when this charge is magnified by a billion or trillion it creates a powerful electroshock that Bio can use as an offensive weapon. As the Biotrons can only generate this charge once every 8 or so hours, Bio uses the electroshock sparingly.

The most unique aspect of the Biotrons is the outer skin they form on Bio that people mistake as a costume. It’s an organic protective covering that the Biotrons repair just as they do Bio’s body.

Because the Biotrons are continually repairing all damage to Bio, including regular cellular decay, it’s conceivable that Bio is virtually immortal.






Jesus Christ, his eyes are burning holes in my soul. And the passive-aggressive way he’s showing off his opposable thumbs strikes at the very heart of my humanity.

I’m an advanced tool user, bitches.

And what the fuck is Lex Luther even shaving? Do horrific mutant pig-men have beards and hair? And why is Lex dressed like the Joker? So much is wrong here.